“Jesus, Lady!”

I am driving in Old Town near the university last night on rutted ice-packed streets in the dark.  It’s a busy area where pedestrians and bicyclists rule, where crosswalks zebra-stripe the roads and where police are apt to lie in wait for traffic transgressors.  To their credit, in this bike-obsessed town they pull over errant […]

The Death of Fun and Pineapple

I’m trussed up like a Thanksgiving turkey, bloomered and bonneted and petticoated and caped, singing Christmas carols at a nursing home. The assembled residents are far more grateful than we deserve – my quartet of Victorian-clad singers has hired itself out to raise money for the symphonic choir we belong to. It’s the end of […]

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, Dem Dry Bones

. . . Now hear the word of the Lord. Pope Frances dusted off the bones of Saint Peter just lately and hauled them out for public veneration in a cloud of incense, which probably made them smell better. With a similar gesture, Husband just threw applewood chips on the grill beneath our Thanksgiving turkey.  […]

Stand By Your Boob

Give him two arms to cling to And something warm to come to
 When nights are cold and lonely
 In other words, offer him “plenty to eat at home.”  The first lady of Toronto stood stoically by her man on Friday, after Mayor Rob Ford managed to shock a jaded world by spitting out a […]

A Porch to Pee On

The pissing contest in Washington has left me with a particularly pointed case of penis envy.  Now, I’ve never actually wanted a penis, per se.  Women learn early on that those appendages are readily available for loan should one ever be needed. What I envy about the penis is its peeing power – the ability […]