Dog Turds and Tampons

That was how my Monday started.  I was late getting to work and had the north entry to myself.  It was bitterly cold and still semi-dark. There by the sidewalk, huge and frozen, sat a proudly upright pile of dog turd.  A step or two closer to the building lay a tampon — unused but unwrapped, swollen with frozen moisture, tail coyly curled.  Does anyone need this at 7:30 AM?


I ran an errand at lunch and returned to the building through the same door.  Both items were still arranged there, somewhat less charming for having thawed — a still life without sparkle.


bathroomI ended the day at a urinal, which seemed only fitting.


There’s a staff bathroom right outside our department.  We have one inside, too, but that’s often busy; it was taken over by the women long ago and features air freshener and perfumed lotions and silk flowers and inspirational posters.  Really, though — does one really need inspiration while seated on the toilet?  No down time allowed, even there?


The outside staff bathroom is a unisex one, clearly claimed by the men.  No air freshener, no flowers, and no perky “Keep It Up!” messages.  They do, occasionally, have soap near the sink.

I went to that bathroom at the end of the day, since someone was making a major wardrobe change in ours (we have bicyclists and yoga enthusiasts and gym rats who change there for post-work activities and spend longer in so doing than my son’s girlfriend spends in our bathtub, which is always hours).  I walked in to find the urinal full.  Is flushing not a manly act?  Too swishy?  Is leaving pee pooled there a way to mark one’s turf, the equivalent of spraying shrubs while out for a walk?  Do men do that, too, when no-one is looking? 


I was desperate, and hey — urine is nothing to seize up and pee on the carpet over.  I am the seasoned mother of boys.


I chose NOT to flush that urinal, however.  Not my job. When I exited the room, a man I don’t know was waiting to enter.  Sigh.  I imagine him imagining me, perched over the urinal and then leaving puddles.

2 thoughts on “Dog Turds and Tampons

  1. Mary Merewether

    Yes, they do. Men do that.

  2. My brother got called into his son’s elementary school for a formal conference with the school principal and district psychologist. His kindergartener had casually peed in the corner of the playground. Brother and his two sons live out in the country and do lots of Guy Stuff outdoors where they occasionally indulge in Public Urination. Brother’s wife refused to attend this conference — the kid didn’t learn it from her.

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