Day 33: Feets Don’t Fail Me Now

“Have you tried giving up gluten?” asks the nurse from occupational health. After all, every modern health issue traces its roots back to the grains we’ve been surviving on since the dawn of time.

We’re discussing Achilles tendonitis. In the year and a half that I’ve been hobbled, I’d not considered it a digestive issue. Neither, for that matter, had my family doctor, my podiatrist, or my physical therapist. I never thought to reach for an antacid to heel that pain!

I tell her rather proudly that indeed I had given up gluten, for three and a half virtuous months. I was zealous and determined. I was Taking Charge of My Health. Giving up gluten was going to restore my youth, support my thyroid, provide purpose in life and perhaps even pave the way to eternal salvation.

Three and a half months later, nothing had improved (most certainly not my mood). Salvation in its various guises remained as elusive as ever.

So back I went to bread and beer. Life was again worth living. Who needs heaven when you can bake a loaf of your mother’s oatmeal bread and then eat half of it while it’s still warm?

The nurse tsk-tsks and frowns and tells me that going back to gluten after abstaining from it is a recipe for disaster, since if I wasn’t gluten sensitive before, I most certainly will be now. I have most likely permanently compromised my immune system. Hence inflammation, hence tendonitis, hence blame placed firmly at the victim’s feet.

She suggests adopting a food-free diet and replacing my morning coffee with bone broth, to see some pretty dramatic results.

Perhaps I’ll try soaking my feet in bone broth. Gluten-free bone broth.

10 thoughts on “Day 33: Feets Don’t Fail Me Now

  1. Rosa

    Oh for heaven’s sake. That woman is batty. As if giving up gluten for a few months causes you to get Celiac disease….

    But bone broth is really delicious. I think I can make it in my new Instant Pot.

    • Instant Pot is worth the hype? I just remember the old-fashioned stove-top models that would explode and kill people. Or so the cautionary tales were told.

      • Wendy

        I love mine. Larry got it for me for my birthday. It does everything, and fast! The output reminds me of what comes out of a crock pot (so no crispy chicken skin, for instance) but way faster, so I don’t have to use my precious before-work time to prep the crock pot. (And you can stick things under the broiler for a few minutes if you want it crispy.) And it also makes rice, so I don’t have to keep instant rice around. If you would like to try one out, you’d be welcome to borrow ours. Just let Larry know and he can bring it to you at choir rehearsal.
        Wendy the groupie

        • Groupies have passion and generally know their stuff (as long as it doesn’t involve Kool Aid). I’ll take your recommendation any day :-)

  2. Mary Merewether

    Have you tried lots of dark chocolate with good coffee on the side (and real cream)? If that doesn’t work, try cherry pie and ice cream. I once was told that eating bread, pasta, and potatoes at one meal (admittedly a carb-heavy meal) could kill you! Not over time because of a lack of veggies or protein, but kill you dead right there. People are stupid. As I say (and I should copyright this) MODERATION IN ALL THINGS — EVEN MODERATION! (Seriously, I’m sorry about the tendonitis.)

    • There are people with real medical problems — I can deal with tendonitis. It was caused by several weeks of skipping we did in a fat-lady cardio class, over a year ago now. Back and forth across a big gym, big high happy skips, full of youthful enthusiasm. Higher! Longer! Swing your arms and smile! Right. The folks running the program maintain that skipping cannot possibly cause repetitive injury. Hmmmm. Sudden onset tendonitis, both feet. No other variables. I’ve not been back.

  3. Bone broth is best when made from the bones of batty occupational therapists

  4. Tony

    I broke my hand punching my brother when I was 13. I immediately gave up liver. I haven’t broken my hand since.

    Feel free to call me for a consult …

    • Whole businesses have been built on less! A post-career career awaits you (and much more lucrative than the Walmart Greeter option, which forms a key component of my own retirement plan).

  5. Wendy Heath

    That nurse is COMPLETELY full of shit. Is there such a thing as gluten related inflammation that is non-celiac? Yeah. Is it common? No. Is it likely to manifest in a localized tendinitis that can be tied to an overwork/overstress injury? No. STAY IN YOUR LANE, NURSE LADY.

    Especially if you trialed off (and did so with any sort of dedication) and found NO changes in symptoms. That ain’t it.

    Ice. Heat. Steroids. Advil. Stretching. I can recommend a good PT/Chiro who’s not full of shit, should you be so inclined. (Can you tell it struck a nerve…?)

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