Day 17: Guilty As Charged

Karmic punishment is swift and terrible – where I’m concerned, there’s none of this waiting-for-doom-in-the-next-life stuff. One day, I’m cracking jokes about aging-hippie silversmiths whose hands are stained with forging gemstones, and the next my own hands are permanently dyed the same shade of scarlet. God only knows what toxic chemicals are in those candles. […]

Day 16: Blood From A Turnip

In a perfect world – or even just a pleasant one – generosity would rule. Kindness would wrap us all in warmth. Honesty would triumph. Honor and integrity would be our guides. “Nice” wouldn’t be a passive-aggressive insult meaning “weak.” And earnest earthy silversmiths would not pass off food-colored rocks as Rare Apple Coral. I […]

Day 15: Sign, Sign, Everywhere A Sign

For almost six decades, now, I’ve been told what to do – an endless barrage of authoritarian orders. Mind you, I’m not blaming my parents. Survival depends upon following the advice and guidance of those who love and protect you during those early years. Now that I’m a parent myself, I tell Sons #1 and […]

Day 14: How To Human 101

You don’t have to be a stable genius to pass for a decent human being. All it takes is a little consideration for other people. Even fake civility will take you far. It’s enlightened self-interest – the very very best interest, believe me. First:  Don’t spit your gum out in the water fountain. I try […]

Day 13: Doubting Thomas Had A Point

Lily Tomlin said it best: No matter how cynical you become, it’s never enough to keep up. I am not fooled by the instant sanitary seat cover at the airport: Press a button and the cover rolls around to offer your butt a pristine Saran-wrapped perch. Pee with peace of mind! Poop in perfect security! […]