“does frankencense cause pooping”

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My blog server keeps me up to date on Google searches that lead people to my website. It’s often rather horrifying. I’ve written about cheerleaders and girl scouts and boobs and Bigfoot and underwear and strippers and space aliens and hookers and guns and God and Godzilla and Republicans and ankle socks and outhouses, after […]

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By The Pricking

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I’ve heard that death by freezing isn’t such a bad way to go. Still, it was hard to watch it happen from the warmth and comfort of my home. It also took a lot longer than I’d anticipated, giving me far too much time for guilty second thoughts as I watched precious life seep slowly […]

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Six Feet, But Not Under Yet

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In the end, it was hardly worth shaving my legs so damned carefully for (yes, I just ended a sentence with a preposition. Lighten up). I’d even re-painted my chipped toenail polish and pumiced the gnarly parts of my feet. They were, to quote my dad, as smooth and soft as a baby’s rear end […]

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Return to Cake Mountain

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The first rule of humor is to cook up something new and then resist the urge to serve it again anytime soon. Re-heating a gag is dishing up tired leftovers for supper, when in fact that Oatmeal Tofu Pilaf wasn’t very good the first time around. But I’ve always resented rules. I make a show […]

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On Top of Cake Mountain

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One random blob of earwax, and life goes right to hell. I’ve just emerged from four days in bed – no, not with some tall dark handsome stranger who happened to be in the market for a middle-aged matron with ear canal hygiene challenges (although we are admittedly a hot commodity). I wasn’t even in […]

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