“You’ll have to wait longer,” says the pretty little chicklet behind the Motor Vehicle counter, eyeing me warily. “Homeland Security red-flagged you. I gotta get my supervisor.” She takes a vague offhand look around the crowded room. Now, I know that Husband, Son #1, Girlfriend of Son #1, and...
They’re God’s Creatures, Too
Girlfriend of Son #1 says perkily the other day, “Gee! My fish is still alive! It’s been a whole year, and he isn’t dead yet!” I am good. I clamp my tongue firmly between my back teeth and smile through the ones in front. This benighted fish has been...
Bite your Tongue and Pass the Velveeta
“Don’t you have a blog entry or something to do?” asks Husband, somewhat crossly. So here I am. We are looking out the patio door at the wonderful jungle of an Eden Husband has created in our small stark square suburban backyard. When he first started digging up the...
Beans, Bigfoot, and Big Brother
Seven percent of American voters believe the moon landing was faked, six percent say Osama bin Laden is still alive, and thirteen percent think President Barack Obama is the Antichrist. Fourteen percent of Americans believe in Bigfoot. Is this good or bad news for Obama? Walk softly and carry...
The Thou Shalt Nots of Happiness
So my attention is caught by a list of fifteen things we must give up in order to achieve happiness. They have me at commandment number one. Number two is also close to my heart. I begin to feel uncomfortable: How many of the next thirteen will lay essential...